Storybook Snout Gifts

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

The Poky Little Pupa.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

Little Princess.

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Where the wild things were."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

Sleeping Beauty

"Well did he?"