Storybook Rediscoverer T-Shirts

When Alice turned around, the rabbit had drawn a 9mm Beretta Automatic.

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

The Runaway Horse

Bookworm Sleepover

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

The Poky Little Pupa.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Characters jumping out of a book.

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"Where the wild things were."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Alice in Wonderland-Hare and Hatter putting Dormouse in Teapot

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

Knights of the bedside table.

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

Treasure Island Book.

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'