Story Twist Lovers Pillows

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

'What does the tooth fairy do with all those teeth?'

Subway Thrillers

Goldilocks Investments: Too hot...too cold...just right.

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"Now THAT'S what I call a surprise ending!!"

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

"Better than Chekhov"

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."

"The true story"

Crime

'I need to go to the bathroom. Can you DVR that while I'm gone?'

"How do those feel? Click them together a few times."

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

"Did you like that mystery book?"

Statue Selfie

'The vet did it.'

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

"These things work better if you don't explain the plot."