Story Twist Lovers Gifts

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Subway Thrillers

'What does the tooth fairy do with all those teeth?'

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

Goldilocks Investments: Too hot...too cold...just right.

"After several chapters of pushing a boulder up a hill over and over again, I think your average reader will watn to see something else happen, Mr. Sisyphus."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

Scarecrow jumps out of a birthday cake and then catches on fire.

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

"Now THAT'S what I call a surprise ending!!"

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

"The true story"

The Little Old Lady Goes Fishing.

"Better than Chekhov"

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."

Crime

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

I've decided to become a mystery writer. "Dark clouds filled the horizon as two young lovers walked along the shore. As if sensing something was about to happen, seabirds cautiously circled around the couple. Suddenly and without warning, the young man reached inside his jacket and pulled out a large bag of pretzels and began to feed the birds." I'm very proud of that opening. The story has just started and it's already filled with twists and terns.

"How do those feel? Click them together a few times."

Cinema. I won't tell you what happens, but there's a great twist at the end.

'I need to go to the bathroom. Can you DVR that while I'm gone?'

Litigious Bo Peep

". . . and now, someone who needs no introduction. . ."

Statue Selfie

'The vet did it.'

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

"Did you like that mystery book?"