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"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

The Truth

Getting the bus back into town from the Bologna Children's Book Fair...

Ali Baba- Cover Design for Proposed Edition of The Forty Thieves

'I suspect the cow jumping over the moon is an illusion or swamp gas.'

Rodin's Irish Judge

Jack and the Beanie stock.

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

'As I see it, Pinocchio was motivated by a need to prove himself while both hansel and Gretel were driven by an inborn rebelliousness.'

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

The author will be signing books for fifteen minutes.

'He's giving us a final request? Ask for a glass of Beaujolais Nouveau - that'll give us till November.'

"My Dad has a way of making a long story even longer."

"Has it been in your family long?"

'TV on the blink?'

"When I come to edit my life, this will be a deleted scene."

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

"Brick, Eh? Well, sorry to blow your house down but these days it's not wise to be so invested in stability."

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

Cat books

"Is this book a true story or is it true it's a story?"

The Never Ending Story

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'Goliath! Spent force - Lifetime of drug fuelled addiction. His headline grabbing misdemeanours have sapped his energies.'

'Book within a Book'

"The hardest thing about giving up a life of crime is getting used to relazing at home with a good book."