Story Evaluator Gifts

"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

The Truth

Getting the bus back into town from the Bologna Children's Book Fair...

It's a picture book. The words aren't called "subtitles."

Ali Baba- Cover Design for Proposed Edition of The Forty Thieves

'I suspect the cow jumping over the moon is an illusion or swamp gas.'

Rodin's Irish Judge

Jack and the Beanie stock.

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

'As I see it, Pinocchio was motivated by a need to prove himself while both hansel and Gretel were driven by an inborn rebelliousness.'

The author will be signing books for fifteen minutes.

'He's giving us a final request? Ask for a glass of Beaujolais Nouveau - that'll give us till November.'

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! I just found out "Empire" and "Star" are in the same universe. For months I've been telling everyone I knew that "Star" was a blatant ripoff of "Empire." But then I found out they're made by the same people and they're in the same tv universe, and I'm like totally fine with it now. Stop it! We speak "English" on this show, not "tv addict"! Wait a minute ... are we talking about soap operas? Because there's an exception for soap operas. No, we

"My Dad has a way of making a long story even longer."

"Has it been in your family long?"

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'TV on the blink?'

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

"Brick, Eh? Well, sorry to blow your house down but these days it's not wise to be so invested in stability."

"I think it's an early version of facebook."

"When I come to edit my life, this will be a deleted scene."

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

Cat books

Youtube reviews make me feel old, Randy. Well … they're always full of whining, nitpicky, smug people complaining that the film or tv show wasn’t easy enough to follow. Reviewers complain that characters actions "don't make sense," as if they unaware that people often don't make sense. Or that a scene wasn't "necessary," as if establishing character doesn't matter. They complain that the plot was "confused," but when I was growing up, that just meant the viewer wasn't paying enough attention. It

"Is this book a true story or is it true it's a story?"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

The Never Ending Story

'Actually I was hoping to meet a knight in shining armour!'