Story Collecting T-Shirts

'Struck by lightning, twice.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

The Poky Little Pupa.

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

Marley had a little lamb

Rapunzcow

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

Fairy Library - Hop o' my Thumb Title Page

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"One blackbird pizza?"

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

Alice in Wonderland - Alice Meets the Cheshire Cat.

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Newborn making the V-sign

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Who's Dead

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

Animal immigration

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"When they assured me the solar panels would look like crackers, I said "What the hell!"'