Store Loungers T-Shirts

'These days, we don't encourage customers to make themselves at home anymore.'

'Not that net!'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

Baby it's cold outside.

Sooners! Opening day of fishing.

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm off work. Let's catch some rays! You already have a great tan from your job! You don't need to go sunbathing. Oh, yes I do!

Champagne and Oysters

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

"Take us to your feeder."

Man reading a tablet in library.

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

Reserve Ants

I guess I just assumed we'd skip Take your child to work day this year. Chips.

"I'm afraid the jacuzzi is out of order madam"

'The reason man hasn't been to the moon in 35 years is because there's no T.V. and recliner up there.'

Mountain Escalator

Hockney by the Pool

"I like this place. You can charge your phone AND save the rainforest."

Are we a bunch of losers? Who are you talking about? Me, Randy, Sadie, even you Uncle Mort – all of us cafe regulars. We've been hanging out at this place for years. I've been working here two decades. Do we have nowhere else to go? More powerful even than inertia: Any momentum killed by an uncompromising nap regimen. Zzzz.

"Boy o boy, there's really nothing worth watching on TV late at night..."

Not quite Beverly Hills.

'I think we're on different career paths.'

Fisherman: 'Did the DNR say anything about the size of your fish?' Other: 'Yeah. So long.'

Building a house.

"She only comes in to try out the heated seats."

"This is really putting a crimp in my plan to live in the woods and survive off nothing but berries and grubs."

'If I fall asleep and my team scores, please fist bump a member of the hired help for me.'

'Sorry, I'm to tired to walk you today.'