Stone Face Fancier Gifts

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

'We know you have a cat.'

People leave joke shop with false moustache, nose and glasses marketed as 'the Robert Winston'.

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

"Too much club."

"The narrative seems contrived."

Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

"This must be Easter Island!"

Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.

The ambush.

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Graeae

'Guarding the house, bringing Master his newspaper and slippers does not require much skill, does it? Catching mice, on the other hand...'

Online Dog Dating

'Don't give me that 'hairball' excuse again. Just admit it - you don't like my cooking!'

'This is no time to decide that you'd rather be doing something else!'

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

''E's going for the 'double'!'

'Oh no, the chickens have killed another fox.'

'Next please.'

'No, they won't have kittens. They are brother and sister.'

'I don't know - with all these feathers you'd think there'd be a bird in here somewhere.'

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

Treatment would eventually prove to be completely ineffective. And that for cats, being psychotic is perfectly normal.

'Did you make it look like a cover up?'

'My dad is a great hunter too: You should see him stalking his rubber mouse!'

"Mom, it's horrible! Eddie really is a cat person!"

Alleyway cat

'Cover your eyes.'

'I might look very exotic to you kiddo, but where I come from, I'm rather common...'

A cat taunts fish with a remote control.