Stone-clearing Comedian Gifts

Stone Crop

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

Recycling bottle bank.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Come on, Og, get with it. Everybody's putting their stuff on 'the cloud' these days."

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

We love the Rolling Stones...

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

'Kitchen's small, but I love the granite countertops.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

"Ugh, I hate it when the stampede stops to do 'the wave.'"

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

"Because we're jerks."

'Manfred went to look for the lawnmower - now I've lost him, too!'

Gardening for Beginners

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

Uses for the wheel (hula hoop).

Dave always likes to amuse himself by accusing the sausages of heresy before he throws them on the fire!

'I can't do anything. It's on the endangered list.'

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'