Stone-clearing Comedian T-Shirts

Stone Crop

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

Recycling bottle bank.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

'Kitchen's small, but I love the granite countertops.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

"Ugh, I hate it when the stampede stops to do 'the wave.'"

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

'Manfred went to look for the lawnmower - now I've lost him, too!'

"Because we're jerks."

Uses for the wheel (hula hoop).

Gardening for Beginners

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

'Have you heard about the origami shop?'

Driving Test: Roll/Stop

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'