Stone Age Sales Strategist Pillows

Hmm ..I predict an upturn in profits this year.

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Ideas Ahead of their Time

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Gerald Ratner's return

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Brick Salesman

"I think your going to need a business plan."

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

Entertainment systems

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Sinking sales

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

Yo-Yo Sales

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.