Sales Strategy Buffs Pillows

'Of course, the car shower is optional.'

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Brick Salesman

Gerald Ratner's return

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

Entertainment systems

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Sinking sales

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'