Stone Age Sales Strategist Gifts

Hmm ..I predict an upturn in profits this year.

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Ideas Ahead of their Time

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Brick Salesman

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Gerald Ratner's return

"I think your going to need a business plan."

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

Entertainment systems

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

Sinking sales

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"Give a man a fish, you cut your throat. Teach a man to fish, you're a damn fool."