Stoic Thinker Gifts

'News gets out that the Stoics' annual party has been cancelled.'

'Everything's going to hell, but, as an optimist, I feel it will still take some time for it to happen.'

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

The New Normal

'The environmental impact study is quite alarming, and this might just be the tip of the iceberg.'

Dept. Sustainable Energy.

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'Alright, just this once. One, two, three, four, five...'

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

'Then, as you can see, we give them some multiple choice tests.'

'My problem is that I am an informed citizen.'

'He was a Stoic's Stoic.'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

Population train.

'Now, at first glance, this may LOOK like a challenge.'

"This report is replete with errors, distortions and downright lies, yet I find its moral message quite uplifting."

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

"Our target must be close enough to seem achievable, by far enough so we're not accountable."

'I hope you don't mind. To save time and money, we've sworn in the firing squad as the jury.'