Stoic Philosopher Gifts

"We always take one piece out."

The man who didn't want to complain.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

'He was a Stoic's Stoic.'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

Seneca

Earth Mover 3000: A not-so-happy God with the humans about to use an Earth Mover on Planet Earth

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

Always a popular motive: Hunter and Prey.

"Our best strategy may be to destigmatize embezzlement."

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

'A Federally-funded study released today proves conclusively that taxes are good for the economy....'

"Republican striptease"

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

'Miss Jones, bring me my scruples.'

'Why should I feel bad? We're part of natures original recycling program!'

"Here's a free tip for you, kid: learn how to brood. Most people in the world mistake it for depth."

"Everyone says I'm crazy and avoids me because I don't panic despite of corona, climate change or inflation. . ."

Vegetarian Professor

"Tighten our belts? Why can't you sell your soul to some nasty American corporation?"

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"

"I know the rules on cloning, but it's easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission."

“What we have here is an old moral compass. How did it come into your possession?”

'We'll just run it past the ethics committee, and we'll be on our way.'

'The way I see it, a double standard is better than no standard at all.'

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."