Stock Whisperer T-Shirts

"The free investment advice is buy low and sell high. We offer more detailed advice for a fee."

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

"Relax...it's only insider trading if you get caught."

Stock Broker - 'Ask not what the market can do for you; Ask what you can do for the market.'

"You call this a 'market correction?' So when I was making money...was that a 'market mistake?'"

Stockbrokers - It was a small blip in the market - sorry, you were wiped out.

Listen, sir - doing a reliable stock market analysis is a completely scientific and serious procedure!

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

Stock Market Decline

"Ms. Frobisher, you know the market has turned around when suddenly you have nothing more to lose and everything to gain."

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

"Polly wants a NASDAQER..."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

You can breed these if the environment is right.

Opening the door to new customers

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'Need I tell you the name of the game?'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

"I'm allergic to money. But luckily they've got antihistamines for that."

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

"Money is life's report card."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'