Stock Trading Maverick Gifts

Tonight's Topic. How To Make a Killing In The Stock Market. I made a killing in the market once, but the only casualty was my investment.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Will work for ETFs

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Economy - USA.

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

Dow Jones drop

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Chinese stock market

'Superstock'

Jumping Wall Street.

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

His temperature appears to rise and fall with the FT index

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'Don't worry dear, I made a bundle shorting your failing financial services company'