Share Market Maverick Gifts

What exactly do you wish to punch him on the nose about, sir?

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

Elevator Pitch

Dow Jones drop

His temperature appears to rise and fall with the FT index

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'The market shifted on me.'

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

'You have a balanced investment portfolio. Everything you own is losing money equally.'

"Which way up do you want it?"

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

The Contrarian funds

'What do you mean your telling me, 'stash it under the bed' is your best advice in the current financial climate?'

The End is Nigh

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

The two faces of capitalism.

'My market doesn't understand me.'

Got out of the market too soon; got back in too late.

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

"Remember, Katie, genius is 10% inspiration and 80% media manipulation."