Market Research Maverick Gifts

Piano tuning shop in desert - "Ok, so I'll do a bit more market research next time."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

European currency on the edge.

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

Economy - USA.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

Dow Jones drop

Elevator Pitch

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

Targets.

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

His temperature appears to rise and fall with the FT index

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."