Stock Swiper T-Shirts

We're looking for a few greedy people.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Textin’"

Turtle Hat

Menu Dating

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

How would Madam like to pay?

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

Free Little Library

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

Stock Market - Bull vs Bear

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

Woman replaces her husband with her smartphone.

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

"We are now required to tell you to fasten your seatbelt for the following Stock Market report...."

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry."

"Eddie, remember, if at first you don't succeed, then call it 'investing for the long-term.''

'Nothing else seems to have worked so we're going to try our luck with a holy man.'

Amateurs de vin...

Check out my new e-reader. This thing is sleek, and fast. Aha! What? How can you say you don't like books> This is just a digital book device. So you like reading after all? Reading? What do you use it for? Downloading books I buy on impulse, looking at the first few pages, moving on. So, so, so sad and true.

Stock Market Decline

"The free investment advice is buy low and sell high. We offer more detailed advice for a fee."

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'

"Whoa, dude...what happened to you...?"

Big smart phone and small tablet.

'The good thing about this bad economy is having a wider selection from all the foreclosure moving sales.'

"You can't put that phone down, can you?"