Stock Sipper T-Shirts

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

The last song before the party exploded.

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"How do I know if it's fresh?... You asked for 'the soup of the day'. You didn't specify what day."

"'60 Minutes' is on."

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"A foot bath after a long hard day at work is really nice!"

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

"Transitioning from home to office again is more difficult for some than others."

'Don't you have anything larger?'

'Dang... so much ice around us, but not a lousy drop of Scotch!'