Drink Sipper T-Shirts

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

City Boy.

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Bryan Ferry

The last song before the party exploded.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Beach flirting

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

"Detox is two doors back, bro' - this is retox!"

Anton's Bar and Grill

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

A very fine vintage

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

'Gee, mom, you know I want to visit - I'm just so darned busy.'

Complaints Desk

A Transformer for grownups

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'