Stock Market Anniversary Gifts

Dow Jones drop

"The bull market has peaked! The bull market has peaked!"

The bluebird of happiness remains bullish: 'BUY! BUY! BUY!'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The president's men

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

How leaders fail

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Build Your Own Portfolio

Team Leader

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Wall St. or True Love.

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

Networking

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"