Stitch Sorcerer Gifts

Quit drinking, sobered up and dedicated his life to helping others. All thanks to the 12-stitch program.

'I'd like to return this sweater I knitted.'

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

Computer Expert

If Disney was a software company

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Witch's Brew.

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Windows or Mac?

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

Quilt fanatic

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

Patient after an appendix operation

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

"What a midfield wizard!"

'Don't knock it. The copy machine hasn't broken down in a month.'

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

Stock marketeers shooting each other playfully with guns full of money

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

Sewing Machines in Surgery

Moments Later, David Blaine Would Be Crushed Into Nothingness.

Psychiatrist knitting

Witch Online

'The market is up 18 points and all is well.'

Quwaket

Maid with her sewing basket

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

"It's a sampler, like everything else in my life."

BB King.

'He's a wizard. He came with the software.'