Stitch Sorcerer T-Shirts

Quit drinking, sobered up and dedicated his life to helping others. All thanks to the 12-stitch program.

'I'd like to return this sweater I knitted.'

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

Computer Expert

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Witch's Brew.

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

Quilt fanatic

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

Patient after an appendix operation

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'Don't knock it. The copy machine hasn't broken down in a month.'

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

"What a midfield wizard!"

Stock marketeers shooting each other playfully with guns full of money

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

Sewing Machines in Surgery

Witch Online

Psychiatrist knitting

Quwaket

'The market is up 18 points and all is well.'

Maid with her sewing basket

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

'If stocks are up, bonds are down. If bonds are up, stocks are down. It's life's Yin and Yang.'

'He's a wizard. He came with the software.'

"It's a sampler, like everything else in my life."

'How long have you been unemployed? I have never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

Whilst installing a new computer programme, Jeff had trouble with the setup wizard.