Stick Connoisseur Gifts

'Good boy. That's better than the others, but still too long. For playing fetch, I prefer a shorter stick, shaped like that, without bark or moss, and not quite as heavy.'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Cheeze Wiz.

The Main Types of Cheese

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Cheese

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Rejoice! It's time to celebrate the baby cheeses!

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

The Running of the Brie

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"Of course I love you more than cheese. What a silly question. In fact, cheese and I are just friends. Nothing's going on between cheese and me."

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

Next Round Indicator

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

'Has someone cut the cheese?'

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Moliere

Still hemorrhaging; NBC cancels "The Cheeseheads"

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'