Stick Chuckers Pillows

'Go on boy, fetch the stick...!'

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Ha! I love slapstick comedy."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Yes, I did receive your resume. As a matter of fact, I'm passing it around the office as we speak.'

'Bless you!'

"Someone should tell her...her breath will smell bad after this."

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

If this works, our entertainment worries are long gone!

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

An idle lap is the devil's workbench.

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"