Steroid Scandal Detective Gifts

Strike Three...

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

"So that's where you were last night."

Newton's Law and Order.

Which One is Pulling Out?

Horse meat scandal.

'You will tell me if you have any doubts about my formulae, won't you?'

Many people suspect that the players aren't the only ones on steroids.

'We're looking for somebody in medical research.'

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

Doping

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

"Today the CIA investigated the FBI's investigation of the IRS' investigation of Trump."

La Tour 2007.

Pharmacy. Prescription. Don't worry about that --- After paying for those you can't afford to drive! (Published originally on August 1, 2011.)

Gene doping in sport.

'Yes, it's full of chemicals.'

'He likes to point out the obvious.'

"Move along, people, there's nothing to see here."

'OK you didn't eat the rabbit, I believe you; snakes are no strangers to plausible deniability.'

The president drops in for a brief inspection

Pricelessly Boring

'Good news and bad news, Kevin. You tested negative for steroids, but positive for estrogen.'

Members of the city and state police, the federal prosecutor's office and an undercover agent pose behind a recently-seized, uncut ounce of prevention (street value: $500,000).

'It says not to use heavy machinery when taking these. What's heavy machinery?'

'Gribner is batting .317 with six home runs and a positive steroid testing average of just .17 lifetime. Here's the pitch.'

There is a new Reaper in town

Drug Side-Effects Research Division

Paterno State.

"He's like Tiger Woods before his comeback."

'It's an ethical dilemna now: We have solved the problem but still have two years of funding through our research grant...'

'As I see it, we have three options: be part of the problem, part of the cover up, or part of the wikileakers.'

Race Bait Shop

Washington Do's and Don'ts - Some things shouldn't be said while people are dining.

"I protected a source."