Step Family Dynamics Enthusiasts Gifts

'I have more step-dads than you do!'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"Act your birth order!"

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

'I try to run my family like a democracy, but what I really need is a line-item veto.'

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'Grandparents! This time last year I wasn't good enough to marry your daughter, but now I've fathered the brightest child in the universe!'