Step Family Dynamics Enthusiasts Gifts

'I have more step-dads than you do!'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"Act your birth order!"

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'I try to run my family like a democracy, but what I really need is a line-item veto.'

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."