Stepfamily Gifts

"My mom's getting remarried and I'm part of the transition team"

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"We need a bigger place for my kids and his kids and our kids."

"Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calve's stepfather?"

"No, I don't think we all agree 'It's what Mom would have wanted.'"

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"We penguin fathers are the greatest!!!..."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Child on a schedule.

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

A kid like me needs a dad like you! You know. Someone to post bail.

"We've found your birth mother."

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

'Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calf's stepfather?'

'Mom & her new husband' and 'Pop & his live-in girlfriend'.

"I'll clean my room when I want. I don't have to listen to you. You're just my step ladder."

"Truth be told, you all have different daddies."