Step-parent Gifts

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

'I have more step-dads than you do!'

"Good evening. I am Martha's son by a previous marriage."

Statue of Limitations.

'Mia has three kids from her first marriage, one from her second, and two from her third. I've got four from my first marriage, one from my second, two from my third and one from my fourth. For our marriage, Mia and I have decided to cool it.'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'My third daddy was my favorite; since him, they've all been pretty much uncles.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"My kid from my first marriage? I thought he was YOUR kid from your first marriage."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"We penguin fathers are the greatest!!!..."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Child on a schedule.

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

"We've found your birth mother."

A kid like me needs a dad like you! You know. Someone to post bail.

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

'Mom's Diner: your meal free if you wash all the dishes and take out the garbage.'