Step Fathers Gifts

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"We penguin fathers are the greatest!!!..."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Child on a schedule.

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

Step Mom's Diner: Under New Management.

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

A kid like me needs a dad like you! You know. Someone to post bail.

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"We've found your birth mother."

"Sorry to break it to you like this, son, but you're not adopted."

'Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calf's stepfather?'

'Mom & her new husband' and 'Pop & his live-in girlfriend'.

"I'll clean my room when I want. I don't have to listen to you. You're just my step ladder."

"That's my half-brother on my mother's side"

"Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calve's stepfather?"

"Truth be told, you all have different daddies."