Becoming A Step-parent Gifts

"What about instead of your stepdad, you just think of me as a 'gritty reboot'."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Well done Mum. You finally got one.'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"We penguin fathers are the greatest!!!..."

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Child on a schedule.

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

'Mom's Diner: your meal free if you wash all the dishes and take out the garbage.'

A kid like me needs a dad like you! You know. Someone to post bail.

Step Mom's Diner: Under New Management.

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

"We've found your birth mother."

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

"Sorry to break it to you like this, son, but you're not adopted."

'Mom & her new husband' and 'Pop & his live-in girlfriend'.

'Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calf's stepfather?'

'Will you marry us?'