Steel Beam Diner Gifts

'Ah, man, empty again. Ever since my wife left me...'

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'The customer is always right...'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Sushi Train Spotters

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

'And for the Queen of Whiny Eaters, two pieces of bologna, cut into quarter-inch squares, coated with Abe's Barbecue Sauce...'

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

Sorry, that's probably one of mine.

"Dinner looks delicious."

"The flounder's not bad, but it's you I'm nuts about."

Road Kill Cafe.

"I'll have the chef."

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'