Stay-at-home Style Critic Pillows

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

Keeping occupied in lockdown

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

Bubbling

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence,

My Mom texted me to let me know she hates all the fonts she saw this week.

"I'm a stay-at-home mom without kids."

"So what books didn't you get around to reading during lockdown?"

Five Stages of Lockdown

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'I'm going to stop coming here -it's completely lost it's fresh, country atmosphere!'

Budget cure

Before becoming an astronomer, James worked in the fashion industry.

"Tonight, I was thinking we could run laps around the living room and then check out that Zoom standup show, but I'm open to other horrible ideas."

'When, son, do you plan to leave your mother and father and cleave unto another?'

"When's the TV due back from the workshop?"

"No, you can't go out like that. Just because the world is ending is no reason to dress like a heathen."

Pants...Before & After

'You passed the physical, but your underwear is on the critical list.'

Eraserhead

"You know what? This new fashion for bare midriffs looks pretty awful on some humans..."

"Dad."

"Modernism, if i may make a suggestion, Madam, is becoming just a little dated."