Stay-at-home Satire Pillows

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

'I thought you said, 'What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom'!'

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

Five Stages of Lockdown

"You may now wave at the bride."

"He's working from home today."

"Tonight, I was thinking we could run laps around the living room and then check out that Zoom standup show, but I'm open to other horrible ideas."

'When, son, do you plan to leave your mother and father and cleave unto another?'

"When's the TV due back from the workshop?"

Antisocial Distancing

"To be honest it's not really driverless, I'm just scared I might catch something off the steering wheel."

Rarely leaving the house and working just steps away from my refrigerator has expanded my waistline. A homebody!

Christina's lockdown

'Why, oh why, did I try telecommuting...'

We never go out anymore.

"The deal is $30K for a dozen rolls. First we count the cash - then you get to squish."

Tunnel of Love in Covid Times

"Hey! No hugging."

"You don't need a mask, I filled it with hand sanitizer." (man swimming in a pool, inviting in another person who is wearing a mask)

The "First" Thanksgiving

"It surprised me too - I was told it hung over the Greenbelt."

Fighting coronavirus

"I think you can safely remove that now."

Isolation playlist

"Watch it, Pal! I WILL come closer than six feet!"

'Hello? Yes, do you do student removals?'

"And my prince is staying home to do the dishes."

Social Distancing at Ben and Jerry's

Working from home

"This is your pilot speaking. I'll be working from home today."

"Rising or setting?"

Beverage Service "Distancing"