Status Symbol Humor T-Shirts

Trophy dog stick

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

That should get you motivated.

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"I don't do intimidation"

"I'll cut to the chase, Wiggins. I'm hearing rumors that you have a bigger chair than me."

"I never thought I'd get married again."

'Have you met my vice-presidents?'

"You know what they say...'The desk makes the man.'"

Revenge Of The Tipped Cows

"Your Amex rare earth elements card, that will do nicely sir!"

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

"Do you need an anthropomorphic car with a monkey chauffeur in the city? No. Do you want it? Definitely."

"Our nation hasn't been to war in a hundred years. Where the hell did we get all these medals?"

Plumbing Company Executive

"Has it ever occurred to you that you might be my trophy husband?"

"We'll begin boarding our first-class passengers after a ten-minute pause in honor of the even wealthier people who fly in private jets."

Napa, Bellevue, McLeon

Unnecessary Surgery

"So you see, even greed has its rewards."

"And this is a picture of John when we still had a Lamborghini."

'Norton, you'll never be a great success until you get a smaller cellphone and a bigger automobile.'

Servant girl turning down a job because the family are not genteel enough

IVF Slut

'Yes, Mom, boating safety is important, however, a giant floaty is a little embarrassing.'

'My other car is a Mercedes, too' bumper sticker.

Big in America, woman to giant pair of legs at party "I believe you're big in America"