Status Symbol Fanatic T-Shirts

"Obviously, I don't need sunglasses, it's more of a fashion statement: They're designer sunglasses..."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

Life and Death

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

'Our company has hit an icebery and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

That should get you motivated.

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

Ill next Thursday

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Statue of Liberty holds a sign up reads: Who are We?

'Have you met my vice-presidents?'

"I'll cut to the chase, Wiggins. I'm hearing rumors that you have a bigger chair than me."

"You know what they say...'The desk makes the man.'"

"I don't do intimidation"

"Your Amex rare earth elements card, that will do nicely sir!"

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

Let's see what's around the poetry corner. You mean, we should take a turn for the verse.

"Do you need an anthropomorphic car with a monkey chauffeur in the city? No. Do you want it? Definitely."

Plumbing Company Executive

"Our nation hasn't been to war in a hundred years. Where the hell did we get all these medals?"

"Has it ever occurred to you that you might be my trophy husband?"

"Before we start, I expect you're all figuratively dying for a cup of tea?"

Play it cool. It's the law of the jungle.

IVF Slut

"So you see, even greed has its rewards."

Frank and Ernest's Amended Sayings. "Everything comes to he who waits..." "But it will be used!"