Status Symbol Critic T-Shirts

"Our nation hasn't been to war in a hundred years. Where the hell did we get all these medals?"

'Have you met my vice-presidents?'

That should get you motivated.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

'My ambition used to drive the economy. Now it drives my Mercedes.'

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

"No, the Geo Metros, Hyundais, Rabbits, and Kias belong to faculty - the Alfa Romeos, BMWs, and Volvos belong to students."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

"My strength is as the strength of ten, because I'm rich."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"I don't do intimidation"

"You know what they say...'The desk makes the man.'"

"I'll cut to the chase, Wiggins. I'm hearing rumors that you have a bigger chair than me."

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I remind you who has the biggest hat?"

"Your Amex rare earth elements card, that will do nicely sir!"

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Do you need an anthropomorphic car with a monkey chauffeur in the city? No. Do you want it? Definitely."

Plumbing Company Executive

"We'll begin boarding our first-class passengers after a ten-minute pause in honor of the even wealthier people who fly in private jets."

"Has it ever occurred to you that you might be my trophy husband?"

'You got the job, the family and now the fancy car. But it's not enough, is it? No, my friend, it's never enough.'

Napa, Bellevue, McLeon

"So you see, even greed has its rewards."

"And this is a picture of John when we still had a Lamborghini."

IVF Slut

'Norton, you'll never be a great success until you get a smaller cellphone and a bigger automobile.'

'Yes, Mom, boating safety is important, however, a giant floaty is a little embarrassing.'