Status Symbol Satirist T-Shirts

"To eventually be rich enough to throw away brand new stuff."

'Norton, you'll never be a great success until you get a smaller cellphone and a bigger automobile.'

'Here comes my first husband-look taller.'

Litter carrier guy has a blow out and will be replaced by a spare.

"What do you mean, you want a bigger office? You work at home!"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

The prying mantis,

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

"I'm after the history section."

Dolestart - A New Initiative

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

Inhospitality tent.

California Beverages Map

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"God help us, it's that guy."

That should get you motivated.

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'Job satisfaction is up, because there are fewer jobs.'

"All the better to ignore you with."

'Have you met my vice-presidents?'

"I don't do intimidation"

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

Please use another building entirely

"You know what they say...'The desk makes the man.'"

Wine tasters...

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

'He's determined not to enjoy himself this Christmas.'

'Now boarding all passengers in the middle class.'