Status Skeptical Gifts

"I'm the CEO of a giant telecommunications firm - but that's just to put food on the table. My real ambition is to be a waiter."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

A shrink charges $200 an hour, but double chocolate layer cake is only $19.95.

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

Therapy Group For Those Who Are Afraid of Therapy Groups

Little Taxes.

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"Has it ever occurred to you that you might be my trophy husband?"

"Sorry. No refunds."

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

Survey: Congestion Charge is wonderful and Ken is a God. Agree/Strongly Agree/Utterly Agree/Agree Big Time.

"Here's a great software update. It lets me delete all the features that I didn't want from the last update."

"I've torn up the questionnaire but am using the lovely pen you sent me"

'You got the job, the family and now the fancy car. But it's not enough, is it? No, my friend, it's never enough.'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

'I'm not coming here again Doctor Melrose. I'd rather talk to my plants.'

Elevators offer choice of conversation or conversation-free.

2013: psychoanalysis is formally declared a scam.

Unfortunately of the 78% of people who completed more than 56% of the survey 98% thought it was a complete waste of time

'I'm not paying $200 per hour for therapy, so you must be the one who's nuts.'

Small Talk Lounge

Harold Was Done Asking Customers About Their Day

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

"Gestalt therapy is not my bag."