Statistics Professor Gifts

'Let's just round it off to two and go to lunch.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

British savings accounts

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Great Chinese Dynasties

Fear/Knowledge

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Mario Draghi

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"What's a debenture?"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

The Life of Pi

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

The economy.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

E.U. Banking Union.

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

G7 Summit Concern

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."