Statistical Strategist Gifts

Economist!

"What the teacher didn't tell you is that owning 51% of the pie is as goo as owning the whole pie."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

'Our crime figures are down!'

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

International Speculators

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

"The boss won't be able to make it on time. He asked us to reschedule this meeting to discuss the agenda for our next meeting where we're going to brainstorm strategies to prevent procrastination in the workplace."

"I see a flaw in your financial calculation."

George Smith Patton

The Miracle Worker

"Reality??? Man, you're hopelessly outdated! Nowadays we have forecasts and statistics."

"According to this article 98% of the statistics you read in the newspaper are inaccurate."

'There is indeed a strong correlation between the arrival of white men and the decrease in buffalo population...'

'The reminds me. Place your orders for the lunchtime pizza.'

"Bob said his decisions were only 30% correct...so he's trying to increase his odds."