Statistical Savant Pillows

"And you know, realistically, it's much safer than driving."

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

Bureau of statistics and probability

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

Bullseye!

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

Where was I?

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

Decision Making Block

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

'I say we try it.'

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

'My client would like to enter a plea of inanity.'

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

Victorious Vaccination Campaign

'Let's make it cutting edge...with a traditional feel.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."