Stats Savant Pillows

"You did very well on the statistics test. You were accurate 19 times out of 20."

"Yes constable, a rising graph is often a good thing, but not when we're talking about the crime rate!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Bullseye!

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Where was I?

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

Decision Making Block

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'Tech stocks performed better today after the market was defragged.'

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'I say we try it.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

"Subtracting net cash brings the P/E down to 47, and, finally, crossing out the 4 brings it down to a very reasonable P/E of 7."

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".