Statistical Pitcher Pillows

'Well if that's the case, I'll throw him mostly curves.'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

The Giamatti era

'I'll take the one on the right.'

Baseball Dreams

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

'Here is my proposal for making our department more productive. The proposal contains my best cognitive distortions.'

'Obviously, for Ben's proposal to really take off, he'll need a longer runway than our little company can provide!'

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

'Balk!'

"I still thinking he's putting something unidentified on the ball."

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

Baseball manager shows pitcher complicated charts.

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd played catch with me more.'

"Idiot! I signaled for a sinker!"

'Yes, Haffner appears to be tiring...'

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

The rotator cuff fairy.

'17 of the 23 of the 456 people who returned 76 of the 12 questionnaires thought the statistics were meaningless.'

"It's time to break up the company!!"

Look, Rusty, your fastball's working and your sinker's dropping perfectly. But if you can't stop chasing the ball after you throw it, I'm gonna have to put you down -- In the minors, Rusty. Oh! You should see your face!

Those Who Get Off On Not Social Distancing: 87% Celebrities On ZOOM: 83%. "We're All In This Together": 82%