Statistical Dreamer Gifts

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"You left this on our ship."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

Characters jumping out of a book.

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

Don Quixote

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

Geek fairies

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."