Data Dreamer Gifts

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"And this projected sales increase has a margin of error of 100%."

"That's some big data!"

'What I appreciate even more than its remarkable speed and accuracy are the words of understanding and compassion I get from it.'

"We tried crowdsourcing the data, but the crowd turned into an angry mob and threw bogus data at us."

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

"I have been much more successfulsince I started measuring my success in numbers of Facebook friends."

"Imagine if we knew what the hell we were doing!"

Economics as Rocket Science

1 Quarterly Report

"Don't be discouraged. Do it over, monitor the results...write your paper."

What the numbers are telling us

"Before we analyze the data, we must analyze the person who came up with the data."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

Geek fairies

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'