Data Dreamer Gifts

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"And this projected sales increase has a margin of error of 100%."

"That's some big data!"

'What I appreciate even more than its remarkable speed and accuracy are the words of understanding and compassion I get from it.'

"We tried crowdsourcing the data, but the crowd turned into an angry mob and threw bogus data at us."

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

"I have been much more successfulsince I started measuring my success in numbers of Facebook friends."

"Imagine if we knew what the hell we were doing!"

'You see productivity levels. I see a naked lady.'

Economics as Rocket Science

1 Quarterly Report

"Don't be discouraged. Do it over, monitor the results...write your paper."

What the numbers are telling us

"Before we analyze the data, we must analyze the person who came up with the data."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

Geek fairies

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'