Static Art Appreciator T-Shirts

"Don't adjust the set dear, it's a documentary about stalactites."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Modern Major General

Pastorius wonders why.

Misunderstood artist

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

Scarpia's Palace

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Juggler and Illusionist

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Leonore from Fidelio

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Artist on the Beach

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Leaves falling out of a painting.

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

Ariana Grande caricature

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."