Static Art Appreciator T-Shirts

"Don't adjust the set dear, it's a documentary about stalactites."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Modern Major General

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Pastorius wonders why.

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Misunderstood artist

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

Juggler and Illusionist

Scarpia's Palace

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

Leaves falling out of a painting.

Leonore from Fidelio

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Artist on the Beach

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

Ariana Grande caricature

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?